I’ve, for quite some time now

I’ve, for quite some time now
wanted to write a post which actually captures my beliefs. I find it rather difficult, seeing it being questioned everyday.

I’ve, for quite some time now
wanted to pen intelligent poetry which nobody actually understands. I realise I’m unable to

I’ve, for quite some time now
wanted to write a hard yet simple story. I find myself trapped in cliches.

I’ve, for quite some time now
wanted to write a really funny post. I’ve a problem- My sense of humour :p

I’ve, for quite some time now
wanted to write intense intelligent stuff, which makes me seem vadde log. LOL!

I’ve, for quite some time now
wanted to write about classic artists and how superlative they are. I dont follow many

I’ve, for quite some time now
been making fun of myself

Man. I’m a loser!

Kaddi te hass bol ve. Na jind saddi dol ve
Tu aaja dil jaaniya. De kar meherbaaniyan
Na sanu teri rol ve. Na jind saddi dol ve.

Tab tak ke liye ,

Disclaimer(s)*

-Neither gender is perfect. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. Guys are admittedly less complicated but women are most definitely the more sorted gender!
-This is purely for fun. It’s very subjective and there are exceptions. It is NOT a reflection of my thoughts, or beliefs. (except the bits about women and shopping :p) Again not to be taken seriously. A lot of these points, both ways I’ve also argued vehemently against. Random chhe. TP chhe. Manne attack nathi karu please
-I may add more in the future. I like this one

Incident of the week

So I’m in a hurry. The car is waiting downstairs, and I needed to quickly shampoo my hair after a (free ) haircut, before heading out, with people waiting for us at the mall. So I do a splash and dash, put on my clothes, wear my shoes, decide I’ll wear the belt in the lift, and am out of the guest house.

Rush to lift. Am looping the belt as the belt arrives, about 3 loops done, holding shirt with neck. Vest visible. Lift door opens. Hot chick inside. Me doing above mentioned activity. *Imagine O.Shit. No! face here* Quietly get into lift. Go to the back. Unloop whatever of belt has been looped, and hold it in my hand. Desperately controlling my laughter. The chick admittedly doing a much better job at it than me. Lift reaches ground. I move out and when chick is out of hearing range, burst out laughing. LOL LOL LOL. Was such a teenage moment. Was awesome

Its nice to feel dhumb at times. Fun comes.

Baaki mein

-My love affair with Landmark continues even in Gurgaon. What a shop. You have to check out the poster collection they have started. Amazing!

-That I hate shopping doesn’t take away the fact that I’m a brilliant shopper. I mean 2 GAP Jeans, 2 Marks n Spencers classic tees, and a desi brand t-shirt in 1760 bucks is not bad at all Oh and there are some dresses that are simply out of this world. Divine. I saw one such dress at Giovanni at one of the malls. Classic!

-Oh and I’ve realized I’m really out of place with people at times! Certain things, activities, and gestures that people do, that you just can’t think of doing, or absolutely can’t relate to. During such times, I guess it’s best to just be in your shell. Coz it’s the most comfortable place you have.

Until next time, Happy Monday Morning Brews/ Brus/ Blues

Off (heart)-beat

I love NDTV offbeats. I swear. Phatte research they report. Day after day. The latest

Fight hai.

Fight hai. Apne saath. Dimaag ke saath. Paise ke saath. Gaanon ke saath. Career ke saath. Exams ke saath. Job ke saath. Seniors ke saath. Pressure ke saath. Saal ke saath. Haal ke saath. Seedhi baat ke saath. Lambi raat ke saath. Din ke saath. Dil ke saath. College ke saath. Sab yaar ke saath. Pehle pyaar ke saath. Intezaar ke saath. Sapnon ke saath. Apnon ke saath. Ideals ke saath. Morals ke saath. Takat ke saath. Mehnat ke saath. Nafrat ke saath. Badalte rishton ke saath. Beete huye dinon ke saath. Aane wale palon ke saath. Sochi thi joh duniya uske saath. Khwaabon ke saath. Khwahishon ke saath. Nahi milti uss rahat ke saath. Kuch karne ki chahat ke saath. Tere saath. Mere saath. Sabke saath. Life ke saath. Fight hai duniya ke saath!

Kya yeh right hai? Fighting chaaloo day-night hai. Haalat apni tight hai. Kya future apna bright hai? Solution nahi in sight hai. Har question ke aage ‘might’ hai. Dil mein thodi si fright hai. Kya andhere ke aage light hai? Kya karen boss, Fight hai! : (

Asuvidha ke liye khed hai

Can (I), Sir?

Here 1, and here 2.
I think they didn’t get the root cause of the problem. Its breathing!
You dont breathe, you don’t inhale all the harmful air, you don’t grow, you don’t run the risk of cancer. Simple.

Oh and while we’re on wtf research, this too. Aila! Discovery.

Randomly,

Kaminey – Taut plot. Gripping. Riveting. Mad. Awesome music. Killer camerawork. In short, fabulous cinema. I’d give a hand and a leg to be Shahid Kapur in the movie.

Love Aaj Kal – Crappy, overrated, flimsy plot. not relatable, a groggy Saif. In short, trash.

I loved one bit of this episode of We, The People, about color discrimination in today’s society, where Alyque Padamsee bajao’ed Barkha Dutt. She, unfortunately, caters to popular demand now.

Life mein sabki baji padi hoti hai.

I hate ultra-sweet people. They can’t be real.

I like my hair messy/ unkempt.

I hate nitpicking.

I think nothing looks better on a girl than a white kurti / loose black tee with blue jeans.

I dont own a single normal pair of jeans. All are either ripped, painted, or have some artwork on them.

I want to go to Mauritius/ Leh-Ladakh/ Hrishikesh/ all of the above. Abhi! Can someone sponsor?

A losers rant

I dont know why I’m posting this, but

A Losers Rant.

Because winning is one thing, and the realization of victory completely another. Because feeling is one thing, expressing completely another. Because good does not mean the best. Because there are thin lines. Because its either yes or no. Because there is nothing like ‘almost there’. And its very important to know those thin lines, and when you’ve crossed them.

Because losing is one thing, and accepting you’ve lost completely another, and multifold more difficult.

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There is hand-eye co-ordination, hand-leg co-ordinations, hand-hand co-ordination, brain-leg co-ordination. But suck at all of these or any other co-ordination, and have a good grasp of heart- brain co-ordination, and brain-mouth co-ordination, and you’re there.

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Because I hate films as much as I love them. They sell dreams, they are unabashedly marketing aspirations. Making every person worth his two pennies think he’s good. Think he is the one. That he can do it, that he is meant to be the hero, he can conquer, he is the chosen one, he can continue. Because there is qaynaat, and there is justice, and there is true love, and good, and dreams come true, and that if you stand for what you believe, you win.

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Because somewhere, no emotion is unique, and each has been expressed wonderfully in music, and lyrics. Which means that there are many who have faced it, and it feels the same.

Banarasva

I’m writing this while in the train. The next work stop is actually Chandigarh, but am going to Amritsar to meet mom for a day, so yay!

Anyway, Banaras. The flight to the place made me think I was directly going to land, and be taken to the ghats for my final rites. It was crazy, the turbulence! The foreigner couple in front of me were hardly amused. Without exaggeration, I felt like I was on a BEST bus, swaying from left to right, the coffee spilling on the table, and the plane vibrating like anything. I’d almost started repenting having turned agnostic

Of all the places I’ve been so far, probably the most unique one. It’s a funny city. Like everything from the roads, to the cars, seem like they have not changed since the British left us. You have many almost irrelevant old temples, tombs of the Mughal era, and buildings that seem like they’ll come crumbling down if you as much as touched them with a finger.

The city is a manifestation of everything ‘India’ for foreigners! From snake charmers, to weird sadhus, from long haired saints to religious fanaticism, from broken roads and infrastructure, to good food, from madness, to historical importance, from the Ganga to dirt and grime. They’ll find the India they’ve heard about here, oh yes!

My first coupla days here were quite average, except for one day when for lunch I had this local specialty called ‘sattu ka paratha’. Quite delicious. The ‘sattu’ in the paratha is ground chana, and is served with a side-dish of, what seemed to me like, the bhaji of pav-bhaji with brinjal in it.

Anyway, finally the Sunday of my budday came! I was absolutely alone on that day. The first time that had happened. I decided to go sightseeing, and enjoy the day alone. But before that, I had to tuck in a good breakfast. The hotel food was quite lousy and I wanted something good, so I headed to *high voice* The Taj for breakfast! Ohh what a spread it was. I’d gambled on there being a nice buffet spread, and it was fantastic. From aloo sabji and freshly ‘served at your table’ kachori, to uttapams, to porridge, rice balls, baked tomatoes, and hash brown potatoes, to the baked beans, and the juices. It was awesome! I’d to do complete justice to it. I didn’t want to overeat and ruin it, and undereating would’ve been an insult to the spread. So maintaining a fine balance, I had what was the best breakfast I’d had in a long time! Finished it with a fantastic cup of cappuccino. Made just perfect. Amen.

After the awesome breakfast, I headed to Sarnath. The place Gautam Buddha gave his first sermon to five disciples. A huge stupa has been built to commemorate the place he gave the sermon. There’s also the birth place of the 11th Jain guru, Shri Shreyansnath ji right there. It was a very peaceful place. Nothing hurried up about it. A few nice statues, and the stupa.

Right next to this park, where there is the stupa and the statues, is an Archaeological museum, which among other artifacts, also displays the Ashoka Chakra. The four headed lion that is on the back of every coin. I decided to check that out too. Was slightly disappointed in the chakra, for it has not been maintained well, and is heavily chipped, one of the heads almost gone. It also has a lot of stone carvings of the Buddha times, which are on display.

Moving on, I thought, since I was in the land of temples, I might do what I’ve not done for a few months, or years now. Visit temples. So I started with the Vishwanath temple at the Banaras Hindu University. Simple temple. Well maintained. Didn’t take me too long there. On my way I also saw this temple that was unabashedly claiming to be a black magic temple. Freaky stuff! I then decided to visit the Kashi Vishwanath temple. On my way there, I saw this huge crowd at a theatre. People jumping on top of each other to grab tickets for the latest blockbuster, Prem ka rog bhayil. Also on the way, I saw a lot of ‘kavadiyas’, Shiv ji bhakts who walk down all the way from Amarnath to Banaras, or their village, barefeet, carrying gangajal in matkas in their kavads. They basically wear orange, and had therefore made Banaras a sea of orange.

The Kashi Vishwanath temple is everything a commercial hindu temple stands for. The kind that makes you hate religion. The moment we reached, this fellow in a sadhus attire came and greeted us as if we were long lost pals of some previous birth. He started to show us around the place. I told him that we’d (the driver and me) manage on our own, but he wouldn’t leave us only. Then after we bought the prashad, just while entering the temple premise, this other fellow keeps some other food to be offered to the gods saying ‘Yeh tumhare mata-pita ki lambi umar ke liye hai’. I said mujhe nahi chahiye. He was like ‘Ajeeb bete ho tum’. I said hoon. He refused to take it from the plate only. I stoutly refused to budge till he took it off. I mean how on earth can you blackmail someone on emotion like that. A temple is a sacred place man. Where you supposedly go for peace of mind. Not to be surrounded by blackmailers.

Inside this guy continues showing us, telling us to recite some mantra or the other at every temple. In one particular temple, in the middle of the mantra only, he made me say that for this prayer, I pledge Rs. 201 to the priest, and then demanded Rs. 201, saying I’d pledged it in the name of my moms suhaag I was mighty bemused. Nothing doing, I said, and left the place.

After all the temples were done, this ‘maharaj’ gave me his blessings, and demanded Rs. 501 as offerings. Ya right, I said. I was so pissed by then, he was not getting anything. I mean you can’t extort in the name of religion yaar. That’s just plain ridiculous. Anyone who comes to a temple comes with his own set of beliefs, thoughts, wishes, and they can’t be exploited like this. I was just wondering that if, being an Indian, I could be almost fooled this way, how easily a foreigner could be hoodwinked of a few hundred dollars.

Anyway, after this I went to the aarti at the Ganga. Oh what a spectacle it is. Just amazing. Seven priests offering their prayers simultaneously to the river. It’s a beautiful sight, and was a delightful contrast to the Kashi Vishwanath temple. All seven doing the aarti simultaneously, with dhols and manjiras in the background. It’s an hour long spectacle. Absolutely worth it! I was mesmerized.

That was it for that day atleast. I headed back to the hotel, and retired for the night.

The next coupla days were just work. The senior had joined me by then, so one day we again went to the Taj for breakfast, and had dinner that night at the Radisson. How cool that sounded. Breakfast at the Taj, dinner at the Radisson :p But these hotels aren’t that expensive there, actually. Infact at Radisson, the food was almost as expensive as the hotel we were staying.

On our final day, we decided to go to see the sunrise at the Ganga. So we woke up at 5! And headed there. Hired a boat that’d take us around the Ganga. We were joined by this foreigner couple who were told that they’d have the boat all to themselves, by the boat owner. So they were quite irritated. Not exactly at our presence, but at having been cheated. They were like nothing against you guys, but he assured us that, and we’re paying him for that. Justified, actually.

The boat ride is where I saw the weird sadhus and long haired saints. There was this really scary ‘Aghori baba’ who was offering some sort of an aarti dressed like Shiv Ji. I merrily clicked photos and moved on. Later on, a colleague asks me, “I heard you saw an aghori baba” I was like Yeah, so? He tells me real life ‘aghori babas’ are those babas who pray and play with skulls, offer sacrifices to gods, and copulate with corpses. I went back and saw the picture (link given aage) and could distinctly make out two skulls in the photograph. My head was spinning when I saw that, more out of repulse. Bloody scary stuff!

Anyway, among the many ghats of the ganga, I also saw a Babua Pandey ghat When we got off, we had these snake charmers there, who were playing their beens, and the snake dancing on its tunes. Again, stuff I’m not used to.

That was as much for Banaras. Quite a nice experience actually, or maybe some bits were not But the place, and even the depot had very nice food. And having given up on the diet long ago, I’m sure I’ve put on a good amount of weight.

Next to Chandigarh, and then I plonk myself in Delhi for a month. So maybe I’ll get to see all in Delhi I didn’t get to see.

Oh and I didn’t get a chance to go shopping, so no Banarasi Saris for mom (who doesnt wear sarees.lol), and I didn’t try Banarasi pan either. Sad, I say : (

Oh and am also attaching collages. So enjoy! Toodles : )

Dilli chhe

I’ve been in Delhi (well, technically, Gurgaon) for almost 5 days now. And I’m typing this on a lazy Sunday evening while watching Delhi-6 on TV.

Delhi.. A city I had heard a lot about. The food, the chicas, the monuments, and of course the people!.. Was looking forward to visiting it for quite some time now. And well, very honestly, it hasn’t been a disappointment. It has lived up every bit to the opinion of a lousy, nosey city that I’d heard it to be from soo many people.

Not that anything has happened in particular that makes me say this. But the city is just so whatever. Being a Bombaywala, I cant understand Delhi. The show-off, the loudness, and other blah stuff. No taking away the fact that it has fabulous roads. Like FABULOUS. But that’s about the only good thing about the place. And there’s definitely no ‘ishq, mohabbat, pyar’ or any such emotion that you feel when here.

Anyway, we’re put up in Gurgaon, and have to travel to Ghaziabad everyday, which is 3 hrs on road one way, so we spend 1/4th of our day everyday just traveling. And god save you if you encounter a jam on the way! On our way, we cross the Qutub Minar, and Akshardham temple everyday. But then the novelty is only for the first time you see it. Apart from that, you normally while away time listening to music, pulling each others legs, and sleeping!

Sadly, I didn’t have the time to explore Delhi, so no Dilli chaat, and no chicas! I also really wanted to see so many places. Among others, Red fort, Rashtrapati Bhavan, Chandni Chowk, Pahadganj, and Jantar Mantar – I have very vague memories of this one. The only other time I’ve been in Delhi was when I was 4 yrs old, and I remember then our hotel used to overlook the Jantar Mantar, where I have this really funky photo of mom and me. She is wearing a cap, and those typical retro sunglasses, and I’m holding her hand like she’d run away if I wasn’t.

The only thing I got to see here in Gurgaon were malls. Malls, malls, malls and more malls. Like in a stretch not longer than Juhu beach, they have 15 malls. All of them sustaining. How, remains a mystery. Coz they always seemed empty!

Anyway, am moving to Banaras in the next coupla days. A week there, and then Chandigarh, and then will be back in Delhi. Maybe I’ll get to explore it better then. Looking forward to Banaras. Will keep you posted about it. 26th July also happens there Woo the hoo!

Note to self

Just follows Kannus notes